Written on the Dock of the Bay: March 3, 2011

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There will be many days in this week (seven of them), but Sunday is the day of multiple wonderful book happenings. Because I cannot go to everything, I expect you will reenact them for me later.

SUNDAY, MARCH 6

For starters, come to Pegasus Books on 1855 Solano Avenue in Berkeley this Sunday at 1pm for the release party of Spaceheadz by Jon Scieszka. Remember that time your boss asked you what book you were reading and you said A Tale of Two Cities when you were really reading The Stinky Cheese Head? That was written by Jon Scieszka. In his newest book Spaceheadz, high-schooler Michael K is forced to make friends with two other new kids at his school who are really weird. It turns out; they are not weird kids at all. They were...aliens! Close call.

Then at 3pm on Sunday, it's time for a book release party, party, party at Diesel Book Store in Brentwood. Allen Zadoff, author of the memoir Hungry: Lessons Learned on the Journey from Fat to Thin is back with his novel, Food, Girls, and Other Things I Can't Have. It is the tale of a teenage boy who can't fit in to his pants, or his life (darn! he knew he should have gotten the bigger size on the life deal!) Parts of this book, including the title, are so depressing it's funny.

At 7pm, Michael Showalter wants to talk about his new book Mr. Funny Pants at the Jewish Community of San Francisco on 3200 California Street. Showalter is best known for writing television's Michael & Michael Have Issues and The State, but now he's sporting the fashionable paperback. If you're wondering what's so funny about his pants, and want to point and laugh at them, come on down. To get you super pumped up, here's a sample of Mr. Funny Pants.

“In the college portion of the book, I will tackle such things as drinking alcohol (Wow! I can make myself feel this way every single night!) [The] themes are going to be 1) Man vs. Society...5. Society Man vs. Himself/Himself."  

See? He's funny!

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9

There are other days of the week than Sunday, such as Wednesday. This coming Wednesday at 7:30 p.m., Terry McMillian will...speak! She has probably spoken before, but this time she's speaking for you at 142 Throckmorton Theater in Mill Valley and it costs $15 to hear her. McMillan is the author of 'Waiting to Exhale' the1992 international bestseller about the bonds between unmarried best friends. These friends, as the title would suggest, are "waiting to exhale", which they won't be able to do until they are married. Come on down to the release party of her sequel 'Getting to Happy' to find out if her characters have finally gotten their breathing issues straightened out.

MONDAY, MARCH 14

Have you ever gotten the feeling that if you just ate everything poet Gertrude Stein ate that you would, in a way, be just like Gertrude Stein? Now you'll have the chance to find out. On Monday, March 14 at the Jardiniere restaurant you'll have the opportunity to have a meal inspired by La Closerie des Lilas, a Parisian restaurant favorite of Gertrude Stein as well as Ernest Hemingway, Henry Miller, and James Joyce. The meal is $55, but will it really be you paying – or will it be the reincarnated stomach of Gertrude Stein? Dinner also includes three courses and three wine pairings, so you'll have one pleased stomach.

Join me again next week for all that is written on the dock of the bay.